Recreating Beautiful

When we get caught up in the whirlwind of being pregnant, The last thing that tends to be on our minds are that our bodies are going to change forever.  For some lucky women, they bounce back like nothing ever happened.  If you didn't know where to look for the little marks of motherhood, you may not know she has been the vessel of life.  For most other women, it may feel like you've had a make over with a wrecking ball.

Things migrate, you discover stretch marks in areas you didn't know you could get them, you begin to loose hair faster than a dog in spring.  Your metabolism might take a dive. We get those lovely skin tags, hair where it doesn't belong, and some of us lucky ones get the permanent linea negra. It can quickly become a recipe for self loathing.

I have had the distinct pleasure to be amongst an online community of women who gave birth around the same time. We all gave birth in various ways. We have differing backgrounds, geographic locations, ideals, and economic status.  The one thing we have in common (besides children the same age) is our struggles with our mommy bodies.  Some of us have learned to love the changes, others are still coming to terms with their new looks, but at some point in our journey to motherhood, we have all had the self-esteem problems associated with pregnancy.

Photo courtesy of Ashley Arnold

This is what I want all of us to remember, that we are beautiful. We were the method to which new life arrived!  We have passed amazing trials, exhibited unsurpassed strength, stood our ground, and took our place among generations of mothers. We stand as the foundations for the future, we are those that our children will look to as examples. We are the pillars of our homes, the matriarchs of our time. We owe it to ourselves to embrace what we are, and give ourselves the strength to rock our mommy bodies!

Photo courtesy of Jenna Saylor

These stretch marks are the road map of my tour to motherhood, a badge of honor pointing to the months that my child was warmly and safely growing in my belly.  These sagging breasts are a testament of my bodies ability to sustain the life my womb brought fourth (even if I didn't breastfeed). The weight that I keep provides a better lap to sooth sick and injured children, they make for squishy hugs for those times that only a hug from mom will do.  

Photo by Heather Felker

My scars are the reminders that my body went through amazing feats to ensure the safety of my child. They show the lengths I am willing to go to. The fears realized and the joys that only hard work brings. My scars are beautiful, a reminder of the birth of that amazingly special entrance my child made. My mind may get fuzzy, but my body will forever tell the story of the most joyous moments of my life.

Photo provided by Kylynn Hilyard

Our society values what is not natural. We kick ourselves constantly trying to obtain what we think is body perfection. When we cant fit into a size zero at 3 weeks postpartum like the latest celebrity mom, we begin to wonder, what is wrong with her? Or worse yet, what is wrong with me?

Fact is, no two women are alike. And that's a good thing! We need to stop pushing these unrealistic expectations on ourselves and embrace our true beauty. If we can change our attitudes about how we look maybe we can make things better for our kids! I don't ever want my girls to think " If only I were more like her". I don't want my sons to only see women as needing to be affirmed by superficial means.

We are a beautiful work of art created by pain, joy, struggle and triumph! We should embrace our differences, and discover our strengths.  We are mothers! These gorgeous bellies are what real women look like. They are what real moms struggle to love. Its a learning process, and one well worth the lesson!

I want to thank the amazing women that I've been able to share my pregnancy, birth, and postpartum with. You are all so wonderful! Its been a divine pleasure to experience all of your joys and sorrows with you. And special thanks to women who gave permission to use their photos. You all have blessed my journey.

A better way

The placenta is probably the most amazing forgotten organ that the female body produces. At least it is in American culture. Most often after birth the placenta is discarded, forgotten, and under appreciated. For the average Jane and Joe the mere mention of placentophagy (ingesting ones placenta) is a nauseating experience.

I get it, I was in that camp too.  Its a funky looking organ. On the one side, it looks a bit like an over tenderized steak (the maternal side), the other has a blueish tint and looks a lot like a trees branches (the fetal side).  The amazing thing is that this organ that protected and nourished your child during his womb stay, can help nourish both mom and baby long after the umbilical cord has been severed!

I began looking into the benefits of placenta encapsulation probably near the half way point in my pregnancy. I, more often than not, have suffered the sometimes debilitating effects of postpartum thyroiditis. An autoimmune disorder that essentually means the body goes wonky and produces to much or to little thyroid hormone, sending your body into a bit of a shock.

There is no research that I could find stating that taking placenta would reduce the incidence of postpartum thyroid disease, but after seeing all that it could do, I was eager to try! So far, at 11 weeks postpartum, I have noted increased energy, decreased lochia, increased milk supply, and zero baby blues! So far, I've not had any noticeable thyroid related symptoms!

I urge all women to look into the benefits in keeping your placenta for capsules, tinctures, and other forms of supplementation.  Its been a pleasant and amazing recovery!

My experiences in cloth- a review

Ever since I decided to start using cloth on my kids I had always made my own.  You see I'm a massive cheap skate. That and I have this thing, why should I purchase what I can make for less? But being on the move a lot the past year due to the military and becoming a mother of four has made me appreciate the convenience of buying cloth.

So that brought me to Sunbabies.com. After reading probably every conceivable review I took the plunge. It took some time to get my diapers, presumably because of the trip through customs (Sunbabies is based in China).

Now its been three months. Sunbabies are a onesize pocket, PUL shell, micro-fleece inner. I started to use them on my two year old, and now my 8 week old is using them.  They are very absorbent, holding up well with both kids with only one soaker both day and night!

My only complaint is that I would add some stability to the snaps and there is a little bit of inconsistency in the tensionn of the leg elastic. Over all, I'm pleased with sunbabies!

Placenta Power!

Two days postpartum I finally got around to encapsulating my placenta. *Note to self: put more thought into postpartum care! I had been so used to being back to my normal functioning self with in a day or so that I over did it!  Mama's need pampering after giving birth!

Ok, so when I pulled out my placenta from the fridge (getting my first good look at it) I noted a couple things:

1. The cord was really short! We're talking about 13 inches long! No wonder I couldn't pull him up to my chest!

 

 

 

All but a couple inches of the cord!

2. Placenta's are so cool! This funky looking disposable organ supplies all a growing baby needs from implantation to birth! And it can help mom after the birth as well! Who knew that after three hospital births that I would not only give birth at home, but I would play with and then ingest this little unappreciated wonder!

Looking at the maternal side you can see the way that it attached to the lining of my uterus.  It was complete with out any calcifications, lobes, or missing pieces! Ok, I admit, its not the most attractive or appetizing looking thing in the world, but the benefits!

Ready for steaming

So on to the processing! I used the traditional Chinese method of preparation.  I lightly steamed it with lemon and ginger. Then it was sliced and put in the dehydrator. Once dry it gets ground up and packed into the empty capsules. Easy as that! It does have a strong odor! Rinsing it was probably the most potent part, during steaming you get the sent of the lemon and ginger mingled in and it starts to almost smell good!

Mine yeilded about 170 capsules! I've decided to use most of them for my postpartum thyroiditis which usually rears its ugly head between 4 and 6 months post baby for me. I'm really hoping that it will give my body the needed hormonal stability during its time of funky highs and lows.

So far I've noticed an increase in energy. Chasing three kids under 6 and dealing with a newborn is no easy feat, but I've been able to actually keep up! My milk supply is great! We had a couple weeks where I could not convince baby to latch to my inverted nipple, my breast shrunk and I did experience a decrease in supply on my right, but I didn't lose it completely! We are now rebuilding the supply on that side.

I've also noticed that I don't have overactive let down this time around. All of my previous kids it was bad.  My first child when let down hit, I kid you not, I could shoot almost two feet with out touching my breast. It was impressive on a WTH is this scale, but not so much since my poor babies were drowning in milk!

Finished product!

Only time will tell if it helps with the PPT, but just with the benefits I've seen so far, I don't think its so far fetched!

Reflections

So here we are, four days postpartum. It has been so nice that my family just seems to have blended smoothly. I had expected a bit of jealousy from my two year old, but she is absolutely taken with her new little brother. The biggest battle so far has been in getting them to not smother their new little brother in hugs and kisses.

It hasn't been all good though.  Avery has a bit of jaundice, due to our differing blood types I presume. As a precaution I thought it best to make him an appointment with a pediatrician.  During the course of my conversations with various people in the medical field I began to question my actions.  Was I really doing the best thing by not having my child in a hospital? Was I a terrible mom?

Not my most shining hour.  Self doubt due to the unusual circumstances of my child's delivery. Then my amazing hubby reminded me that I took the time to research and learn all that I could over the last several years just so I could give our child the best possible start. So I took a rescue remedy and went to work encapsulating my placenta.

My mother and brother came to help out with the adjustment, and it was really nice to have the time to be mellow, have help cleaning and cooking and the like. Its times like this that I really dislike the distance from them. 

Then the sweetest reminder of all came in the mail.  A woman whom I've never met but consider a great friend sent me a sling that I'd been admiring.  Opening the flood gates all over again. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a great support system.  People that will lift me up when I feel down and who love me for all of my quarks.

This week has been amazing. Full of love and insights into myself, and those closest to me. Adding and strengthening my family, and my beliefs.

The amazing home birth of Avery

Wow, just wow.  I'm just swooning.  The beginning doesn't start with contractions...

I had been having prodromal labor. At first it was no big deal, but in the last two weeks I had two episodes that I thought were the real thing. Nothing concrete, but still, enough to make me think that things were happening. Saturday I went a bit batty. That is something that seems to prelude each birth I've had! Hubby says that he knows that with in a day or so of my crazy hormonal outburst that I'll be in labor.

So I decided on Sunday that I needed to reground. I spent the afternoon slowly walking the garden store and Target alone. Sweet brain juice that alone time. Then when the children were in bed, I turned off the lights, turned on my birth playlist and lit a lavender candle.  I read through some birth affirmations and spent some time looking at scriptures.  I decided it was beyond time that I let go completely to God.

I went to sleep easily, and slept through till 2:20am. I woke up to cramping, nothing unbearable, but not a typical pregnancy complaint of mine. I lied awake for about 15 minutes and my contractions started. Intense and long, lasting about 50seconds and between 2 and 3 minutes apart.  I worked through them alone for an hour, and they slowed to about 10 minutes apart. I was overwhelmed with the need to sleep, so I decided to go back to bed.  Waking every few minutes for contractions.

At about 4am the intensity was increasing, and hubby woke with me (or to me) working through contractions. We got up and began preparing for what I thought would be a fairly long day. Over the last couple days I've been so content to just sit on the toilet.  With as deeply engaged as Avery had become a place of solace.  I kept trying to move back into our bedroom, but just couldn't get comfortable.  Its here where time alludes me.

Probably about 5:30 or so I couldn't get out of the bathroom, the breaks were short, and transition was either happening or nearing.  I told hubby to get out the birth kit, as I thought it was going to happen soon.  After telling him I was just going to give birth on the toilet, I asked hubby to run the bath.  I thought the warm water on my perineum would be good, and the bath didn't get but a couple of inches of water in it before I was in there.  Heaven! The water only got about half filled before I felt my body begin pushing with each contraction. It took me a bit to find a comfortable position, which wound up being a frog squat.  Just a little help with one contraction, and his head was out.  Next contraction our son was born swimming.  Probably only about 5 minutes of pushing.

We waited a couple minutes for me to gain some strength and headed for bed.  I delivered the placenta about 30minutes later.  My bleeding has been minimal and I've only got some "skid marks", no significant tearing.  Avery weighs about 6.5lbs, 19 inches long and 13inch head circumference. He was born at 38 weeks 5 days gestation, and appears full term. He only has a small spot of vernix on the top of his head, his nails are long. He's a great nurser! I've not had any of the pain that I typically get from nursing a newborn.  Maybe its experience, but he's going strong.  A bit sleepy, and its been tough to get him to wake, but I think it may have to do with the speed of the delivery.  My shortest prior to this was 5 hours of active labor, this was merely two!

I'm so thrilled that we were able to do this.  I have my unequivical proof that birth is a normal event, and that my body if left alone will deliver quickly and easily.  I'm elated.  I'm proud. I'm on top of the world.  I'm truly blessed!

But if we decide to expand the family, I will pay more attention to my postpartum! Hubby was not able to get away from work, and that left me alone with the children for the night, but wow, I would do this again in a heart beat!

Getting ready

Clothes basket full of  supplies

All of my birth supplies are in and organized!  I'm so excited, and happy things are falling into place with time for me to relax and enjoy these last few weeks of my pregnancy!  

Placenta encapsulation supplies

Even all that goodness for encapsulating my placenta is ready for use! I'm anxious to get the benefits of these pills!  I'm really hoping that it will help me heal quickly and restore balance to my system so that I don't have to live with the effects of Postpartum Thyroiditis.  Not to mention the boost to my milk supply and energy! 

Life is grand when your free to enjoy it!

A bit about where I am now

My journey really starts out just over 4 years ago, with the birth of my second child. Sure, I'd been a mother before that, but the birth of my first daughter triggered something.  There has to be a better way!

My oldest was born in the hospital, epidural was administered after my water had been broken for me.  I'd been given a time limit on how long I could labor, was threatened with a cesarean section, coached pushing and deep suctioning of my son for traces of meconium found in the waters.  It was traumatic, but I walked away with the satisfaction of a healthy baby. So with my oldest daughter, I got the epidural before I consented to having my water broken, the whole thing was peaceful and we were crowning before we knew it (or felt it for that matter).  But it still didn't feel right.

So for baby #3, I did my homework.  I was more informed, and put up a fight with my doctor.  I knew how this worked, and I wanted to do things right!  I started talking about my birth plan probably halfway through my pregnancy.  We agreed on just about everything, and when the day came I was still disappointed.

I had gone into the hospital at my husbands urging, even though I didn't feel ready.  My labor went into a lull after consenting again to having my waters broken, and due to hospital policy, I reluctantly agreed to pitocin.  My labor was long and hard, but done with out an epidural.  My daughters cord was cut before I wanted it done.  Again, looking back things just felt wrong.

I kept researching, and learning.  I came to find out that we as a society interfere with labor so much! The things we do to try and help things along come with potentially catastrophic consequences. We inhibit the natural flow of hormones by administering drugs.  We don't teach our daughters that pregnancy, labor, and birth are all natural processes. Akin to getting your period or growing breasts. So we go into the delivery room scared, all of these strangers poking and prodding, increasing our fears and adding to our pain.

So here I am today. I'm learning what it means give birth as God intended, and to teach others what I've learned.  I'm also 32 weeks pregnant with my fourth child and planning a homebirth sans midwife. I'm trusting in my body and in my Creator. Armed with knowledge, love and faith, I'm ready to see what it was that God meant for us to do.

I've never felt better! Each of my prior pregnancies I'd felt terrible, and couldn't wait for it to end.  Now, I've got a total calm in regards to my pregnancy.  My nutrition is good, and my body is reacting to the care that I've given it.  I've got more energy, and feel most days on top of the world, despite the cacophony of life that surrounds me!

Hello World!

Thanks for stopping by! I've created this blog so I have a special place to keep all of my thoughts on the childbearing year (conception through the postpartum period).

I think a good place to start is by sharing with you my thoughts on birth!

I believe birth is a normal process. The vast majority of pregnancies (those deemed low risk) would be better handled by an experienced Midwife. Birth has the power to transform, to be inspirational, and to heal past trauma and doubt.  I believe that many common ailments and conditions related to pregnancy can and should be treated with diet as a first response.  I also believe that women are naturally powerful, we are created with the ability to nurture and grow life from seed to glorious maturity, and with very little in the way of tools!

In short I think that with all the good our technological advancements have brought, they are also placing us on a  backwards track.  We trade simplicity for the hope of convenience, and its not always the best answer. So my goal is to share with you what I learn as I continue my long journey toward unlearning all of the "normal" ways of giving birth.